This post was inspired by something that happened to me and my friend a few days ago. My friend and I had been standing at the bus stop for a while and were waiting for a tricycle. While still waiting for a tricycle to approach us, a man joined us at the bus stop.
Fortunately, it was not just one tricycle that parked and wanted to pick up passengers. Now what annoyed us was the fact that the man who joined us at the bus stop had to push us to enter the tricycle we wanted to take, not like the tricycle was the only one parked at the bus stop.
People around just didn’t get why the man had to push us just to enter the tricycle. I was really angry because we almost fell. You might say the man has no chill, because of the Lagos hustle. I understand that he might have been in a hurry, but he didn’t have to push us to enter the tricycle, and also it wasn’t just one tricycle at the bus stop. I just believe the man lacks manners.
Whatever happened to good old-fashioned manners? Not many men follow the simplest rules these days and as a consequence, it shows in how they behave.
A number of people will argue that the concept of being a gentleman is archaic or s3xist, one thing I know is good etiquette never goes out of style. Women have learnt to take care of themselves and don’t expect men to open doors for them or stand reflexively when they walk into a room. Good manners are not stiff, formal, or awkward. Good manners should come off as entirely natural.
If you want to rise above and stand out (in a good way) you need to possess good manners and not act like a cave man. Consider the following etiquette skills every man should know.
1. Always be punctual
You should never keep a woman or anyone waiting. It is rude when you keep anyone waiting, you should plan for traffic and other little disasters. If you can’t help being late, you should inform whomever you are meeting about it. And if the person you are meeting is late, you should not draw attention to it. The correct answer to the question “how long have you been waiting” is “I just got here a few minutes ago.” P.S Never keep a woman waiting
2. Table Manners
When sitting at a table (either in a restaurant or at home), your elbows should never rest on the eating surface. Elbows on the table are acceptable only between meal courses, or in extremely informal settings like bars or pubs.
3. You should be willing to give up your seat
In a situation where an elderly woman, man, pregnant woman, someone injured or physically challenged or a kid walks into a room, or a bus you should be willing to give up your seat if there are no seats available. It doesn’t hurt and it costs you nothing.
4. You should not be rude to servers, bartenders or anyone in general
Remember to treat people how you want to be treated. It is really offensive is you are rude to people and treat them as inferiors. It’s ill-mannered, awful for everyone around you, and it makes you look like an ass
5. Addressing women
You should learn the correct way to address women both verbally and in writing. This depends on her age and marital status.
A married woman should be addressed as “Mrs”, for women that are unmarried or you are not sure about her marital status, use “Ms”. For girls and teens under the age of 17 years, you should use “Miss”.
6. Personal Property
You should refrain from touching or moving or interfering with anyone’s property without asking for permission. For example, you should never touch and move an unknown woman’s purse — even if it is in your way. You should also avoid touching clothes, vehicles, equipment, or any personal items belonging to another.
You should always pay attention to your appearance even if you’ve not had your bath. You should always wear a fresh pair of underpants and the yesterday t-shirt you are wearing should have a new coat of antiperspirant. There’s no excuse for leaving the house with your teeth unbrushed, nails untrimmed, and hair unkempt (or at least uncovered). If you have beards, they should always be neatly trimmed. Just don’t go out looking like a cave man, or someone that’s homeless.
Knowing what to wear and when to wear it is important if you want to save your reputation. There is a difference in casual, business casual, and professional dress. In reality, it all depends on the event.
8. Keeping your word and secrets
Don’t commit yourself to any obligation that you are not willing to brave fire, famine, and flood to fulfil. Likewise, when you are entrusted with a secret, guard it as closely as you do your own. There is no breakup, no fight, no argument, no falling out that absolves you from this responsibility. Live and die with the secrets entrusted to you locked away in your heart.
9. Never hit a woman
No matter what: you never hit a woman. There’s no excuse. There’s no possible argument to the contrary. There’s no “what if?” and there’s no qualifier. Gentlemen don’t hit women. Ever.
10. Don’t push people because you are in a rush or ever
I just had to include that, we know you are in a rush but don’t crazily push people about just because you have to be somewhere in 10 minutes.