A friend of mine recently went to meet her future in-laws. She was equally excited and nervous to meet his family. She got to the house and her fiancé introduced her to his mother. She spent the entire afternoon with his family, getting to know them. Before she left her fiancé’s mother told her that she has to call his younger siblings “Aunty/Uncle’.
My friend was and she reported the case to me. She said she can’t call his siblings that. At first, I didn’t see anything wrong with that, it shows a sign of respect. But i had not heard the full story, My friend is to call the supposed siblings whom she is older than Aunty/uncle. She feels her fiancé’s mum is too traditional and she is also treated this way because she is Igbo and her fiancé is Yoruba.
Growing up in a Yoruba extended family we mostly hear our mothers’ call our fathers’ siblings (both older and younger) “iya oko mi” meaning my husband’s mother and some are called aunty/uncle.
The truth is we find ourselves in the 21st century where even siblings call each other by their names and not with supposed “titles”. So it can be hard for that tradition to still be in existence. It’s even in the same Yoruba land that people will use ‘E’ for you and still be disrespectful.
I went on to ask a number of people their take on the subject “should the groom’s younger siblings be called “Aunty/Uncle when the bride is older”
“No, this is the 21st century and he/she better have respect.”- Jumoke. T
“No, they should be called by their names” – Rilwan
“It doesn’t take or remove anything from her, it portrays her has a respectable wife and it also shows that she is humble. But she should be matured about the situation” – Damilola
“It is a local mentality though/ a Nigerian one. But i think she shouldn’t, though it is taken as disrespect if you don’t in some families”. – Michael
“It is Absurd. It is stupidity”. – Okechukwu
“It depends on your relationship with them and how the family is. It’s her decision in the end” – Femi
“To make peace reign, she should just do it.” – Derin
“Because of what, oga this is not the days of our forefathers. Before you know it, it’ll enter their head and they’ll even want to send you message.” – Timeyin
“For what when she is older, she is their elder brother’s wife the respect they’ll give to him they have to give to her because she is an extension of him.” – Tamilore
“All these bantzz old people expect from the new and younger generations. As for me, there is no sense to it, but she should talk to her fiancé about it.” – Dimeji
“No big deal, it’s our tradition.” – Adewale
“She should do it for peace sake, but she should tell her fiancé about it.” – Oladayo
“Fuck tradition, if I were to be the girl, if my fiance should insist on me doing that, den he should get ready for a full blown Igbo tradition because I am not going to take it lightly with him. They are both getting married. The major thing is them loving themselves and showing both families the respect they deserve. Not living a primitive life.” – Kelvin
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