Do I Have To Be A Bridesmaid?


Someone you know is getting married soon, and she asks you to please be one of her bridesmaids, you probably will be elated that that individual considered you to be with her on that special day, but the question is, do you really have to be a bridesmaid?

Being a bridesmaid in a Nigerian wedding has been taken up a notch. Most brides don’t make their bridesmaids wear badly tailored dresses in unflattering shades of satin anymore. Brides are beginning to invest time and ideas in making the squad look amazing on the big day. The truth is, it is not easy to be a bridesmaid, it is actually expensive and tiring to be a bridesmaid.

A friend was recently asked to be a bridesmaid for a wedding, she was pretty excited till she was told she had to pay N40,000. The amount may not seem a lot to some but in my opinion, I think it’s absurd that I will have to pay that amount of money just to be a bridesmaid.

The whole bridesmaid thing has taken a new turn in Nigeria now, you’ll have to buy the Aso-Ebi for the traditional wedding and still have to also pay for the bridesmaid ensemble. Some brides even make their friends pay for the bridal shower and she is still going to expect wedding gifts from them, ‘Kilode’.

If a bride wants to go all out with her bridal party, she should be willing to pay for it. It just doesn’t seem right to make your friends pay a lot of money just to be your bridesmaids.

Some brides have more than 10 women in their bridal party which don’t make sense to me. How is it possible that you have more than 10 close friends in your bridal party.  The bride is supposed to include the women who mean the most to her when she is finally saying ‘I do’.

To all ladies who frankly aren’t very interested in being a bridesmaid, thank you very much. There is just one thing to do when asked,  say NO.

Saying no can be hard, I once said no to being a bridesmaid because I didn’t feel close to the bride. It just didn’t feel right for me to be there when I didn’t feel a connection to the bride. So, if you can’t afford to be a bridesmaid or you are just not interested because of one reason or the other, just say No.

Be sure to tell the bride immediately. You don’t have to tell the bride the reason why you can’t be her bridesmaid. You simply can say

“Thanks so much for asking me to be one of your bridesmaids. Unfortunately, I’m not going to be able to do it.”  You can also offer to help out in other aspects of the wedding you feel you will be able to do.

I mean no bride wants a grumpy bridesmaid and you also don’t want to be in a bad mood on the wedding day.


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